Thursday, March 12, 2009

I am a vindictive sort of woman

I thrive on being right. I will go to great lengths to PROVE I'm right. And I have a hard time not rubbing it in peoples faces when I am finally proven right. This is bad. A serious character flaw, you might say. So, I hold back the, "I told you so", and the, "See?"... and I really do try to hide the self satisfied smirk that sneeks on to my face when someone tells me I'm right. It's not that I believe I know everything, but when I choose my battles and fight for what I believe in, I like to come out on top in the end.

The worst part is... I'm also vindictive. When I am in pain, I want to cause pain to the person that has inflicted that pain upon me... when really, I've probably done most of the damage to myself. I don't know why this is. I certainly don't feel better after I have intentionally said something hurtful, even when I felt it deserved. I think the real problem is I used to be this quiet, shy person who did everything for everyone because it made me happy. And then people started to take advantage of my niceness. After a very long time of trying to make everybody happy all the time, I became NOT nice. I'm not sure which is the lesser evil. I refuse to let people walk all over me... but something dies a little inside me when I am cruel to people. Plus I immediately regret my rash behaviour. There has to be a happy medium. Maybe I just need to drink more wine. On the upside, I have no problems admitting to my flaws, so there's something.

7 comments:

Jewels said...

someone has told me that the name for this is "blind stubborness".

I like it!

jinksy said...

Well, Roosters do like to crow a bit, and do a bit of pecking, but mostly they aren't too deadly!

A Woman Of No Importance said...

Jewels, I think the word you are looking for is 'character', possibly, 'personality', and strength!

Wine is good (everything in moderation -- Ahem!), and so is forgiving yourself! x

Mistra Hoolahan said...

LOL... Jewels you do make me laugh! Good to see you're not one to be walked over, used up and spat out! And really... to be right, and vindictive... that just makes you woman... because we are all always right... isn't that what the men complain about!

Next post should be about those wonderful qualities you have... warm, loving, caring, fun... and right! Mis xo

Jerry K said...

I love your candor, but there must be a happy medium. After all, isn't everybody trying to be right the source of all our problems?

http://funwithchickens.blogspot.com/

Carolina said...

And there I was, thinking that I'm the only one who is ALWAYS right. Apparently all women are. Well, it's safe to say that my mother-in-law is NOT! (safe because hubs and mother-in-law will not read this, phew!). So, there is the exception!

Again a great post from you. And again very recognizable. I used to be too nice. In fact often I still am and I always regret that afterwards. (I'm always a little bit proud when people call me a bitch! Hehehe.)
But you are who you are. Self-knowledge is the first step on the road to improvement! If needed ;-)

savage.spheniscus said...

somehow this post reminds me of this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kZUPCB9533Y

"What is wrong with you Carl!?"

"Well.. I kill people and I eat hands. That's, that's two things."

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